If you're stuck in traffic, or your computer misbehaves, how does it help to get hot under the collar? Does your anger magically fix the problem? When you're angry with your computer, who suffers: your computer or you? Consider this: when you get angry you create a second problem; first you have the snarl or the malfunction, then you add those uncomfortable feelings of rage.

Do you need to feel angry? Is it inevitable? To answer this you need only look at the way other people react to the same hassles. Undoubtedly, some feel even more angry than you do, while others remain calm. If the anger were inevitable, then everyone would feel exactly the same.

What causes some people to fly off the handle while others remain calm? The answer is attitude. If you take an aggressive attitude towards your problems then you will feel angry. If you take a relaxed attitude then you will feel calm.

If feeling angry is unpleasant, unhelpful, and avoidable, why do you torment yourself? Believe it or not you can change. You can learn to remain calm in the face of adversity. Here's how:

1. Ask yourself how your anger helps to fix the problem. Remember that motor cars and computers are oblivious to your suffering.
2. Ask yourself if there is some law of the universe that says that everything should always go right for you, and that nothing should ever go wrong. (Hint: if the answer were yes, then nothing could ever go wrong. The fact that things do go wrong proves that no such law exists).
3. Ask yourself how bad the situation really is, perhaps in comparison to having a gangrenous leg amputated. The truth is the situation may be a pain in the backside, but you can live with it. Yes you can.
4. Remind yourself that you have control over your feelings, that you don't have to suffer, and that it is you who feels angry - not the traffic or your PC.
5. Remind yourself that it isn't compulsory for the world to treat you fairly.
6. Remind yourself that you can live with inconvenience.

When you follow these six simple steps, you'll find that you stay calmer, live healthier – and possibly longer – and you'll be more pleasant to be around. Your friends and family will admire your patience.